When things hurt us most, we often trick ourselves into believing that feeling anything is feeling well. It's almost a survival instinct - we feel that something that provides the sense of being alive, regardless of how it hurts us, is better than anything that doesn't. Because at least that which hurts us has an immediately identifiable corollary of reminding us, through pain, that we don't have to feel that way. I often think that when people wish for pain, they have a silent hope that if they take on as much pain as possible in one sitting, then perhaps they won't have to deal with it anymore. Whether they think that they may create a karmic shift that leaves them spared from any further episodes, or if they will build a tolerance to that level of pain - and subsequently be able to walk through those fires without blinking.
Yet, when we convince ourselves that we have a form of protection from a specific type of pain, we most likely leave ourselves susceptible to a completely different, perhaps more potentially damaging brand of pain.
It's a hard realization, that life's ratio of pain to pleasure is perhaps as wide as 80:20 - but the pride comes in holding onto the right experiences. When we wallow in misery, whether our own accumulated experiences or those impressed on us by someone or something else, we leave our minds on pause - while our bodies continue to age and be battered. So that when we finally return our focus to our present state, we have what seems to be only more damage to sift through.
As silly and cliched as it has become, carpe diem is still a worthy way to conduct one's life. If nothing else it gives us only that day's rises and drops to deal with, and no extraneous stresses - good or bad.
But don't take the statement as it is used in modern terminology, as a rallying cry. No, take it in the terms presented in its birth: Seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit luppiter ultimam quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicbus mare Tyrrhenum: sapias, vina liques et spatio brevi spem longam resces. dum loquimur, fugerit invida aetas: carpe diem quam minimum credula postero.
Whether Jupiter has allotted to you many more winters, or this final one which even now wears out the Tyrrhenian sea on the rocks placed opposite - be smart, drink your wine. Scale back your long hopes to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have already fled. Seize the day and place no trust in tomorrow.
And if you really stop to think about it, those who have found themselves victims of real, scarring pain have no reason to trust tomorrow - because as history is always an indicator, there will most likely only be pain. Today is all that matters, steal it - make it yours, and trust nothing that anyone tells you about time or healing.
29.3.09
13.2.09
Song o' the Day: the Temptations - "Ain't Too Proud to Beg"
One of the most under-estimated groups in all of Motown's storied history also happens to be one of its most successful. The story of the Tempt--
[Note: We interrupt your regularly scheduled post to bring you this retarded short story written from the perspective of a thirteen year-old.]
PROLOGUE
A boy was born in a cradle. He was going to fight a witch. But not in this story. SCREW HIM. And we will.
CHAPTER ONE: Hormones begin to take charge in the nunnery.
“Oh, Brunhilda. The sun has suddenly changed. As have my...My thoughts concerning my nunning duties. I think of... carnal things.
"Carnivals?"
"Not carnivals. Carnal. CARNAL. Father Frank looks so... Well, never mind Father Frank. He’s kind of fat. But if he lost some weight I’d totally do him. WAIT. Brunhilda. I’M A NUN. I can’t think these things!”
Our heroine for the time being, Helga, clasped her hands to her bouncy bazoombas in anguish and stared at a crucifix, which was conveniently located in front of her, as it was, after all, a nunnery that she lived and lusted in.
“Oh, Brunhilda. What can I do? I feel I can’t stay here! My life is just... OH. ANGUISH AND AGONY. I must go pray. And whack off. I mean, pray. Just pray. Brunhilda, my character changes so quickly. Help me, Brunhilda. Help me!”
Brunhilda, a tall Scandinavian woman who rarely missed a meal, responded, “Eh?” She was, after all, very deaf. And very dumb.
Helga threw her arms in the air, causing her bazoombas to ripple gloriously underneath her nun suit. “I CANNOT TAKE IT! I quit! Farewell, nunnery! Whom I’ve never the time to learn the name of. I know Father Frank, though. Almost a babe. Fack. I mean... Rack?"
... And indeed she did, have a rack. Which she was going to learn how to appreciate, sometime. Possibly in the following chapters, as they are full of raunchy sex.
CHAPTER TWO: Helga appreciates her bazoombas.
“Oh, yes,” thought Helga, traipsing down the nunnery’s mountainside. “This was the best choice. Let me sing a tune. For I cannot possibly express my happiness in mere words.” She threw down all her luggage, and promptly wailed. Upon this, a young shepherd boy, who obviously was packing, heard this almost unbearable wailing coming from the direction of the nunnery.
“Oh, Christ. A dying animal.” He, too, dropped all his shepherdly things, which I assume would be sheep, to run and assist the “poor creature”. Finally, out of breath, he approached his victim, which he had discovered was not an animal, but a woman with large bazoombas. “Golly wolly,” said the shepherd boy. “What nice bazoombas you have.” Helga, overcome with joy and horniness, took a step backwards, and promptly fell off a cliff. The shepherd, dropping his jaw at this surprising sight, wondered where the cliff had come from, and then went home and jerked off.
CHAPTER THREE: I got bored of those characters. Here are some new ones.
This chapter is bold. Bold and saucy.
Why?
I’ll tell you why.
Because it tells the tale of two librarians on a search for WELL-HUNG... portraits. Ha, ha. Got you. You thought I was talking about sex.
Well, I am. These librarians are kinky.
So kinky, in fact, that their names are Pervy McPervperv and Sister Slutty. (Sister Slutty, of course, having once been interested in God, because he was hot. And naked a lot.) So anyway, about these librarians. Well, let’s hear what they’re talking about.
“Oh, Sister. I desire sex.”
“I agree. Sex would be nice.”
And so, there you have it.
“Wait, author! We enjoy penis!”
I know, librarians. I’ll get it to you.
“We want it NOW.”
FINE.
Two young men decide to stroll into the library. One is tall, dark, and handsome - the other is not. But the librarians care not, for they would do anything with pants.
Sister Slutty batted her eyelashes.
“However may we assist you in your adventure?”
“Greetings,” said the tall, dark one. “I’d like to check out a book."
“WE’d like to check out a book,” added the not one.
Pervy McPervperv smiled coyly. “Which book?”
“The one that involves us DOING YOU.”
CHAPTER FOUR: Raunchy sex.
Oh, goodie. The sex.
Well, both librarians decided now was the time. The men had been so polite in giving them their wish. So, they had to find a good place for banging. Well, the kiddie section was kind of free... Seeing as how children don’t read. So, the strangers took one another by the hand, and promptly porked. It went like this:
THE TALE OF PERVY MCPERVPERV
Pervy McPervperv decided that she wanted the tall, dark, and handsome one. Who was, incidentally, named Slurvy McSlurvslurv (he was Slavic). They had a nice, useless chat about the weather, and then the fun began. First, Slurvy decided the pants just HAD to go. On both parties. So, he ripped them off, because by golly, he was just too excited to unbutton them. There they stood, pantsless. But with socks on. And shirts, too.
“Okay. Off with the shirts and socks, then?”
“Well, okay.”
They both stripped. Not themselves, or anything - BUT ONE ANOTHER. OOH. Pervy lusciously spit all over Slurvy, who we’ll now be referring to as “Sly”, and he enjoyed it a lot. He moaned, wildly, like a wildebeest in heat. “Oh, yes,” he cried! “Yes indeedy! This doesn’t suck at all!”
“Oh, but it WILL,” Pervy assured him, licking his tall, dark, handsome shoulder. “Oh, hooray,” Sly said. “I like your bazoombas a lot.”
“Thanks, baby,” said Pervy, who had forgotten his name. “They’re on loan.”
This turned Sly on more than ever before. He madly reached his tall, dark, handsome hand down to her Pervy thighs. She yelped in surprise, and then, because it was cold (OR WAS IT?) shivered crazily. “Oh, darling,” said Sly. “Are you doing alright? Also, are you a virgin? Because if you were, not only your bazoombas, but your purity will soon be placed upon my PENIS!”
“The bazoombas too?” asked Pervy. “Well, if you’re into that.”
He was, reader. He was.
After messing with her thighs some more, and fondling her heavily padded, yet still naked bazoombas, Mr. Winky was awakened. “What, ho, friend,” he called metaphorically. “We have a mission to accomplish.”
“Hello, hottie!” yelled Ms. Vagina. “Please, come in, won’t you? Come in out of the rain.”
Mr. Winky thought this was a great idea, and promptly stood up straight. Manners, of course. Sly and Pervy continued to moan, oblivious to the conversation of their genitals. “Ride me, cowboy!” yelled Pervy stupidly. (She obviously came from Texas. Also, ha ha - I said ‘came’.) Sly inhaled deeply, and mounted Pervy’s trembling body. His soft mouth blew all over her bazoombas, creating a rippling affect, which felt like yum. Yay yum. She felt toasty all over, and then, suddenly, THEY KISSED! They hadn’t before, you see. All that bazoomba action leaves little time for the lippy lips. But, now was that time. Also, I’m rambling. AHEM. NOW FOR THE CLIMAX!
“Holy cow, baby! Here I come!” Mr. Winky shouted.
“GOD! YES!” replied Ms. Vagina. “Hurry, oh DO!”
Pervy arched like a cat, saying, “I feel like a SEXED UP KITTY!” This slightly disturbed Sly, but he continued nonetheless, as her bazoombas had not decreased in size.
“KNOCK KNOCK, HONEY! OH YEAH! OHHHHHHhhhh GOD yes!” Mr. Winky screamed. (Sly said nothing.) Ms. Vagina was muffled for the time being ,but she still managed an “MMM!!” as this was a nice feeling that she didn’t feel often, because her owner is a librarian.
“SHALL WE DANCE?!” Mr. Winky demanded, rapidly wiggling about.
“MMM,” consented Ms. Vagina, and insertion was complete. Both parties wriggled about happily, like fishies and stuff. It was one hot party in the library. And they were the only two people invited. OH YEAH.
Meanwhile Sister Slutty and Not One played a game of Go-Fish, even though they took a small break to watch their friends, and the “fish” were really naked ladies in suggestive, saucy poses. “We’re horny too, dammit,” said Sister Slutty. “Let us in on the fun!”
And they did.
“Why, WELCOME!” shouted Sly, because he was happy.
Not One, whose name was Ipcus, looked at Sister Slutty, who looked right back at them, and the two began to madly lick each other’s buttons.
“Oh, your buttons are so round and BUMPY,” said, Ipcus, biting them off like a little ferret who likes to bite buttons.
“Why, yes, as are yours,” agreed S.S.
“ALLOW US THE SEX, YES?” shouted Dick, Ipcus’ fiesty young friend from below. And, without warning, Ipcus picked up S.S. and slammed her lithesome and suddenly naked body to the floor and jumped upon her like a dog.
“HA. YOU LIKE IT LIKE THAT, DONCHA?” Dick said, balling his fists and getting ready for a cockfight (oho!).
“Oh, Ipcus! You’re so manly and aggressive!” S.S. swooned as he cupped his hands around her bazoombas.
Ipcus, in a sudden fit of manly desire, shouted, “PUT YOUR PURITY ON MY PENIS.” And then he placed kisses of a butterfly sort all about her navel. S.S. shuddered happily, and then began to nibble a small piece of cloth which was lying nearby, because she liked to nibble fabric during sex-- WHEN SUDDENLY, Dick decided to TAKE CHARGE.
“I am captain of this ship! WE SOW SEED NOW!”
Kunt batted her eyelashes metaphorically, because literally, that’s just gross. Then she applied lipstick, which was conveniently located inside of her. You see, Ipcus was kinky. And he thinks lipstick is sex. Which most obviously it is.
So, anyway.
Dick and Kunt decided that it was time to join forces and fight crime via life creation.
“OOH!”
“AAH!”
“AHOOOOOOOOGA!”
“BLARG!”
“SHIBBIDY-DOO-DAH!”
“HUMMINA-HUMMINA!”
“I LIKE IT WHEN YOU TOUCH ME THERE.”
“I KNOW YOU DO.”
“PLEASE CONTINUE.”
“ALL RIGHT.”
“... HUMMINA-HUMMINA.”
And this went on for some time. Finally, Dick ran out of juice, and Kunt got tired.
MEANWHILE. Back at the Perv Palace….
Sly and Pervy McPervPerv were also getting tired, and such as it may be, running out of juice. It looks as if the two librarians were going to have to end their once-in-a-lifetime experience quickly, lest the men get disgusted with them and their talking genitalia. Both parties of both people whispered a few nasty last words to each other (“Bottom.” “Sticky.” “Boob.”) and licked each other goodbye. Tall, Dark, and Handsome waved charmingly, and Not One belched. But it was kind of charming, too. Kind of.
“Well. Wasn’t that splendid,” Sister Slutty mumbled.
“Indeed, yes.”
AND SO ENDS our tale of wild, and utterly unbelievable sex. Perhaps, one day, if you’re good (and good-looking), something like this will happen to you (but probably not in a library). And hey, if you’re not - forget about it, reader. Because you can always become romance novelists, just like Danielle Steele!
THE END
[Note: We interrupt your regularly scheduled post to bring you this retarded short story written from the perspective of a thirteen year-old.]
PROLOGUE
A boy was born in a cradle. He was going to fight a witch. But not in this story. SCREW HIM. And we will.
CHAPTER ONE: Hormones begin to take charge in the nunnery.
“Oh, Brunhilda. The sun has suddenly changed. As have my...My thoughts concerning my nunning duties. I think of... carnal things.
"Carnivals?"
"Not carnivals. Carnal. CARNAL. Father Frank looks so... Well, never mind Father Frank. He’s kind of fat. But if he lost some weight I’d totally do him. WAIT. Brunhilda. I’M A NUN. I can’t think these things!”
Our heroine for the time being, Helga, clasped her hands to her bouncy bazoombas in anguish and stared at a crucifix, which was conveniently located in front of her, as it was, after all, a nunnery that she lived and lusted in.
“Oh, Brunhilda. What can I do? I feel I can’t stay here! My life is just... OH. ANGUISH AND AGONY. I must go pray. And whack off. I mean, pray. Just pray. Brunhilda, my character changes so quickly. Help me, Brunhilda. Help me!”
Brunhilda, a tall Scandinavian woman who rarely missed a meal, responded, “Eh?” She was, after all, very deaf. And very dumb.
Helga threw her arms in the air, causing her bazoombas to ripple gloriously underneath her nun suit. “I CANNOT TAKE IT! I quit! Farewell, nunnery! Whom I’ve never the time to learn the name of. I know Father Frank, though. Almost a babe. Fack. I mean... Rack?"
... And indeed she did, have a rack. Which she was going to learn how to appreciate, sometime. Possibly in the following chapters, as they are full of raunchy sex.
CHAPTER TWO: Helga appreciates her bazoombas.
“Oh, yes,” thought Helga, traipsing down the nunnery’s mountainside. “This was the best choice. Let me sing a tune. For I cannot possibly express my happiness in mere words.” She threw down all her luggage, and promptly wailed. Upon this, a young shepherd boy, who obviously was packing, heard this almost unbearable wailing coming from the direction of the nunnery.
“Oh, Christ. A dying animal.” He, too, dropped all his shepherdly things, which I assume would be sheep, to run and assist the “poor creature”. Finally, out of breath, he approached his victim, which he had discovered was not an animal, but a woman with large bazoombas. “Golly wolly,” said the shepherd boy. “What nice bazoombas you have.” Helga, overcome with joy and horniness, took a step backwards, and promptly fell off a cliff. The shepherd, dropping his jaw at this surprising sight, wondered where the cliff had come from, and then went home and jerked off.
CHAPTER THREE: I got bored of those characters. Here are some new ones.
This chapter is bold. Bold and saucy.
Why?
I’ll tell you why.
Because it tells the tale of two librarians on a search for WELL-HUNG... portraits. Ha, ha. Got you. You thought I was talking about sex.
Well, I am. These librarians are kinky.
So kinky, in fact, that their names are Pervy McPervperv and Sister Slutty. (Sister Slutty, of course, having once been interested in God, because he was hot. And naked a lot.) So anyway, about these librarians. Well, let’s hear what they’re talking about.
“Oh, Sister. I desire sex.”
“I agree. Sex would be nice.”
And so, there you have it.
“Wait, author! We enjoy penis!”
I know, librarians. I’ll get it to you.
“We want it NOW.”
FINE.
Two young men decide to stroll into the library. One is tall, dark, and handsome - the other is not. But the librarians care not, for they would do anything with pants.
Sister Slutty batted her eyelashes.
“However may we assist you in your adventure?”
“Greetings,” said the tall, dark one. “I’d like to check out a book."
“WE’d like to check out a book,” added the not one.
Pervy McPervperv smiled coyly. “Which book?”
“The one that involves us DOING YOU.”
CHAPTER FOUR: Raunchy sex.
Oh, goodie. The sex.
Well, both librarians decided now was the time. The men had been so polite in giving them their wish. So, they had to find a good place for banging. Well, the kiddie section was kind of free... Seeing as how children don’t read. So, the strangers took one another by the hand, and promptly porked. It went like this:
THE TALE OF PERVY MCPERVPERV
Pervy McPervperv decided that she wanted the tall, dark, and handsome one. Who was, incidentally, named Slurvy McSlurvslurv (he was Slavic). They had a nice, useless chat about the weather, and then the fun began. First, Slurvy decided the pants just HAD to go. On both parties. So, he ripped them off, because by golly, he was just too excited to unbutton them. There they stood, pantsless. But with socks on. And shirts, too.
“Okay. Off with the shirts and socks, then?”
“Well, okay.”
They both stripped. Not themselves, or anything - BUT ONE ANOTHER. OOH. Pervy lusciously spit all over Slurvy, who we’ll now be referring to as “Sly”, and he enjoyed it a lot. He moaned, wildly, like a wildebeest in heat. “Oh, yes,” he cried! “Yes indeedy! This doesn’t suck at all!”
“Oh, but it WILL,” Pervy assured him, licking his tall, dark, handsome shoulder. “Oh, hooray,” Sly said. “I like your bazoombas a lot.”
“Thanks, baby,” said Pervy, who had forgotten his name. “They’re on loan.”
This turned Sly on more than ever before. He madly reached his tall, dark, handsome hand down to her Pervy thighs. She yelped in surprise, and then, because it was cold (OR WAS IT?) shivered crazily. “Oh, darling,” said Sly. “Are you doing alright? Also, are you a virgin? Because if you were, not only your bazoombas, but your purity will soon be placed upon my PENIS!”
“The bazoombas too?” asked Pervy. “Well, if you’re into that.”
He was, reader. He was.
After messing with her thighs some more, and fondling her heavily padded, yet still naked bazoombas, Mr. Winky was awakened. “What, ho, friend,” he called metaphorically. “We have a mission to accomplish.”
“Hello, hottie!” yelled Ms. Vagina. “Please, come in, won’t you? Come in out of the rain.”
Mr. Winky thought this was a great idea, and promptly stood up straight. Manners, of course. Sly and Pervy continued to moan, oblivious to the conversation of their genitals. “Ride me, cowboy!” yelled Pervy stupidly. (She obviously came from Texas. Also, ha ha - I said ‘came’.) Sly inhaled deeply, and mounted Pervy’s trembling body. His soft mouth blew all over her bazoombas, creating a rippling affect, which felt like yum. Yay yum. She felt toasty all over, and then, suddenly, THEY KISSED! They hadn’t before, you see. All that bazoomba action leaves little time for the lippy lips. But, now was that time. Also, I’m rambling. AHEM. NOW FOR THE CLIMAX!
“Holy cow, baby! Here I come!” Mr. Winky shouted.
“GOD! YES!” replied Ms. Vagina. “Hurry, oh DO!”
Pervy arched like a cat, saying, “I feel like a SEXED UP KITTY!” This slightly disturbed Sly, but he continued nonetheless, as her bazoombas had not decreased in size.
“KNOCK KNOCK, HONEY! OH YEAH! OHHHHHHhhhh GOD yes!” Mr. Winky screamed. (Sly said nothing.) Ms. Vagina was muffled for the time being ,but she still managed an “MMM!!” as this was a nice feeling that she didn’t feel often, because her owner is a librarian.
“SHALL WE DANCE?!” Mr. Winky demanded, rapidly wiggling about.
“MMM,” consented Ms. Vagina, and insertion was complete. Both parties wriggled about happily, like fishies and stuff. It was one hot party in the library. And they were the only two people invited. OH YEAH.
Meanwhile Sister Slutty and Not One played a game of Go-Fish, even though they took a small break to watch their friends, and the “fish” were really naked ladies in suggestive, saucy poses. “We’re horny too, dammit,” said Sister Slutty. “Let us in on the fun!”
And they did.
“Why, WELCOME!” shouted Sly, because he was happy.
Not One, whose name was Ipcus, looked at Sister Slutty, who looked right back at them, and the two began to madly lick each other’s buttons.
“Oh, your buttons are so round and BUMPY,” said, Ipcus, biting them off like a little ferret who likes to bite buttons.
“Why, yes, as are yours,” agreed S.S.
“ALLOW US THE SEX, YES?” shouted Dick, Ipcus’ fiesty young friend from below. And, without warning, Ipcus picked up S.S. and slammed her lithesome and suddenly naked body to the floor and jumped upon her like a dog.
“HA. YOU LIKE IT LIKE THAT, DONCHA?” Dick said, balling his fists and getting ready for a cockfight (oho!).
“Oh, Ipcus! You’re so manly and aggressive!” S.S. swooned as he cupped his hands around her bazoombas.
Ipcus, in a sudden fit of manly desire, shouted, “PUT YOUR PURITY ON MY PENIS.” And then he placed kisses of a butterfly sort all about her navel. S.S. shuddered happily, and then began to nibble a small piece of cloth which was lying nearby, because she liked to nibble fabric during sex-- WHEN SUDDENLY, Dick decided to TAKE CHARGE.
“I am captain of this ship! WE SOW SEED NOW!”
Kunt batted her eyelashes metaphorically, because literally, that’s just gross. Then she applied lipstick, which was conveniently located inside of her. You see, Ipcus was kinky. And he thinks lipstick is sex. Which most obviously it is.
So, anyway.
Dick and Kunt decided that it was time to join forces and fight crime via life creation.
“OOH!”
“AAH!”
“AHOOOOOOOOGA!”
“BLARG!”
“SHIBBIDY-DOO-DAH!”
“HUMMINA-HUMMINA!”
“I LIKE IT WHEN YOU TOUCH ME THERE.”
“I KNOW YOU DO.”
“PLEASE CONTINUE.”
“ALL RIGHT.”
“... HUMMINA-HUMMINA.”
And this went on for some time. Finally, Dick ran out of juice, and Kunt got tired.
MEANWHILE. Back at the Perv Palace….
Sly and Pervy McPervPerv were also getting tired, and such as it may be, running out of juice. It looks as if the two librarians were going to have to end their once-in-a-lifetime experience quickly, lest the men get disgusted with them and their talking genitalia. Both parties of both people whispered a few nasty last words to each other (“Bottom.” “Sticky.” “Boob.”) and licked each other goodbye. Tall, Dark, and Handsome waved charmingly, and Not One belched. But it was kind of charming, too. Kind of.
“Well. Wasn’t that splendid,” Sister Slutty mumbled.
“Indeed, yes.”
AND SO ENDS our tale of wild, and utterly unbelievable sex. Perhaps, one day, if you’re good (and good-looking), something like this will happen to you (but probably not in a library). And hey, if you’re not - forget about it, reader. Because you can always become romance novelists, just like Danielle Steele!
THE END
9.12.08
Song of the Day: Rilo Kiley - "More Adventurous"
It isn't a bad thing to like (or even love) Jenny Lewis. I chose this song over her more recently released solo song "Acid Tongue" because A.) its lyrics are closer to that of a 'traditional' country song, and B.) if you are in any way an indie rock fan, chances are that you've heard "Acid Tongue" roughly eleven thousand times by now. So I take this opportunity to remind you just what the fuck is really up with Jenny Lewis.
... Or really, Rilo Kiley. A quick note - the album was titled More Adventurous, because the group decided that they needed to become just that, more adventurous with their songwriting and recording styles. And some adventurous things about the song itself include the fact that the 'steel guitar' sounds are not actually being produced via an acoustic guitar played with a steel, but rather by some clever slide guitar on an electric played by lead guitarist Blake Sennett.
The lyrics speak from the perspective of a woman who is speaking to her lover (or boyfriend), seemingly listing things that she could deal with and live without - so long as their love remains constant throughout said ordeals. Two things in this song have always stuck out to me. First, even though this song has been explained to me several times via several sources, including the band members (I've seen, read and heard interviews about it. I wasn't just chilling out with Rilo Kiley one day), I still feel that it would work best as a male-female duet.
Why? Well, if you break down the lyrics it just makes more sense as a conversation, rather than a speech - especially if you look at it all as something being observed by a third party. Picture that you're at a party, and you come to find yourself sitting on a couch adjacent to a couple sitting in a corner having a quite little argument. You don't notice them at first, but at some point begin listening intently to their conversation, even though you start doing so in the middle of a sentence:
"(...) And it's only doubts that we're counting/On fingers broken long ago/I read with every broken heart we should become more adventurous (...)"
Really, that could make sense as either a man or a woman speaking - so long as the person in question has a pretty well-developed flair for the dramatic. Let's just say that it's a guy speaking a girl for the hell of it. Either way, I'm sure you've had an argument somewhere along those lines during a relationship - whether or not it actually involved the other person.
See, whether or not you are currently in a relationship - if you've ever been in a failed one you know that there are unique traits that only the two people involved will really recognize as they come up. And within every failed relationship there comes a point where one person feels as though they are only digging themselves into a hole that leads to nowhere. Moreover, they are digging said hole with a spoon. So not only has the relationship taken on the feeling of pointlessness, but a brand of pointlessness that is only equaled by how time-consuming it has become.
That's basically the same thing that is being said in those lines - 'we have come to a lull so deep that it feels as though I only have faults to count, and only broken fingers left to use'. And instead of turning somewhere else (or even to someone else), the person is saying that while they sit there with a broken heart, all they really want is their former feelings of happiness back. So all they can think to do is try and spice up their bland situation.
"And if you banish me from your profits/And if I get banished from the kingdom up above/I'd sacrifice money and heaven all for love/Let me be loved, let me be loved."
From here, the song gets pretty plain - the girl would now be saying to the guy, "Look, I don't need your fucking money - and I don't need God telling me what to do. All I want is for you to love me, have you got that asshole?" Of course her wording is much more palatable than mine.
"And if my brain quits, well I guess then that's just it/And if my hands stop working you can call me lazy..."
Again, pretty straightforward offering from what would now be the male side of the story. If he is no longer creative, or no longer drives himself the way he used to - then she should totally call his ass out on that.
"And if I get pregnant, I guess I'll just have the baby - let it be loved, let me be loved."
... And while this line may seem a little sudden, I feel that most couples that have existed together for more than two consecutive years have discussed the possibility of children, mostly because it significantly changes their sex life. I mean, let's be honest. If they decide that they would rather not use condoms, whether it be specifically for the purpose of trying to get pregnant, or just because one or both parties don't like them - then the topic will, and probably should come up. Nothing wrong with that.
"I've been trying to nod my head, but it's like I've got a broken neck/Wanting to say 'I will', as my last testament/For me to be saved and you to be brave,
We don't have to walk down that aisle/'Cause if marriage ain't enough/Well at least we'll be loved."
The chorus marks the return of the simile to the song, illustrating the couple's various distresses via the imagery of a broken neck or a last will and testament. It also brings up the other topic that I feel is discussed by tenured couples - marriage, and the fact that perhaps neither of them is very concerned with it, as it is much more important to them to know that they are loved than it is to have a gigantic ceremony. [Note: Attribute the chorus to whichever side you'd like - especially since it comes up more than once in the song, so you'll have the chance to assign it to both parties if you are so inclined.]
"I felt the wind on my cheek coming down from the east/And thought about how we are all as numerous as leaves on trees/And maybe ours is the cause of all mankind;/Get loved, make more - try to stay alive."
I said earlier that two things in this song stuck out to me, and finally I've come to the second. The closing lines of the second verse state "(...) And maybe ours is the cause of all mankind; Get loved, make more - try to stay alive."
See, that is something I struggle with constantly. Some days, I firmly believe that as though it were a natural law - and on other days, I wonder how natural (or healthy) love really is. I suppose it varies with my level of optimism, but the fact remains that our planet doesn't care about our feelings, or even our massive population. We are but organisms, and the only thing an organism really has to do is survive long enough to produce more of itself. But ever since the first two humans tried to make a go of monogamy, the bar was set there - and nobody ever looked back at it. Perhaps we never need to, for if we are lucky enough to find someone we can even tolerate for twenty consecutive years, we have probably won at the game of life.
... Or really, Rilo Kiley. A quick note - the album was titled More Adventurous, because the group decided that they needed to become just that, more adventurous with their songwriting and recording styles. And some adventurous things about the song itself include the fact that the 'steel guitar' sounds are not actually being produced via an acoustic guitar played with a steel, but rather by some clever slide guitar on an electric played by lead guitarist Blake Sennett.
The lyrics speak from the perspective of a woman who is speaking to her lover (or boyfriend), seemingly listing things that she could deal with and live without - so long as their love remains constant throughout said ordeals. Two things in this song have always stuck out to me. First, even though this song has been explained to me several times via several sources, including the band members (I've seen, read and heard interviews about it. I wasn't just chilling out with Rilo Kiley one day), I still feel that it would work best as a male-female duet.
Why? Well, if you break down the lyrics it just makes more sense as a conversation, rather than a speech - especially if you look at it all as something being observed by a third party. Picture that you're at a party, and you come to find yourself sitting on a couch adjacent to a couple sitting in a corner having a quite little argument. You don't notice them at first, but at some point begin listening intently to their conversation, even though you start doing so in the middle of a sentence:
"(...) And it's only doubts that we're counting/On fingers broken long ago/I read with every broken heart we should become more adventurous (...)"
Really, that could make sense as either a man or a woman speaking - so long as the person in question has a pretty well-developed flair for the dramatic. Let's just say that it's a guy speaking a girl for the hell of it. Either way, I'm sure you've had an argument somewhere along those lines during a relationship - whether or not it actually involved the other person.
See, whether or not you are currently in a relationship - if you've ever been in a failed one you know that there are unique traits that only the two people involved will really recognize as they come up. And within every failed relationship there comes a point where one person feels as though they are only digging themselves into a hole that leads to nowhere. Moreover, they are digging said hole with a spoon. So not only has the relationship taken on the feeling of pointlessness, but a brand of pointlessness that is only equaled by how time-consuming it has become.
That's basically the same thing that is being said in those lines - 'we have come to a lull so deep that it feels as though I only have faults to count, and only broken fingers left to use'. And instead of turning somewhere else (or even to someone else), the person is saying that while they sit there with a broken heart, all they really want is their former feelings of happiness back. So all they can think to do is try and spice up their bland situation.
"And if you banish me from your profits/And if I get banished from the kingdom up above/I'd sacrifice money and heaven all for love/Let me be loved, let me be loved."
From here, the song gets pretty plain - the girl would now be saying to the guy, "Look, I don't need your fucking money - and I don't need God telling me what to do. All I want is for you to love me, have you got that asshole?" Of course her wording is much more palatable than mine.
"And if my brain quits, well I guess then that's just it/And if my hands stop working you can call me lazy..."
Again, pretty straightforward offering from what would now be the male side of the story. If he is no longer creative, or no longer drives himself the way he used to - then she should totally call his ass out on that.
"And if I get pregnant, I guess I'll just have the baby - let it be loved, let me be loved."
... And while this line may seem a little sudden, I feel that most couples that have existed together for more than two consecutive years have discussed the possibility of children, mostly because it significantly changes their sex life. I mean, let's be honest. If they decide that they would rather not use condoms, whether it be specifically for the purpose of trying to get pregnant, or just because one or both parties don't like them - then the topic will, and probably should come up. Nothing wrong with that.
"I've been trying to nod my head, but it's like I've got a broken neck/Wanting to say 'I will', as my last testament/For me to be saved and you to be brave,
We don't have to walk down that aisle/'Cause if marriage ain't enough/Well at least we'll be loved."
The chorus marks the return of the simile to the song, illustrating the couple's various distresses via the imagery of a broken neck or a last will and testament. It also brings up the other topic that I feel is discussed by tenured couples - marriage, and the fact that perhaps neither of them is very concerned with it, as it is much more important to them to know that they are loved than it is to have a gigantic ceremony. [Note: Attribute the chorus to whichever side you'd like - especially since it comes up more than once in the song, so you'll have the chance to assign it to both parties if you are so inclined.]
"I felt the wind on my cheek coming down from the east/And thought about how we are all as numerous as leaves on trees/And maybe ours is the cause of all mankind;/Get loved, make more - try to stay alive."
I said earlier that two things in this song stuck out to me, and finally I've come to the second. The closing lines of the second verse state "(...) And maybe ours is the cause of all mankind; Get loved, make more - try to stay alive."
See, that is something I struggle with constantly. Some days, I firmly believe that as though it were a natural law - and on other days, I wonder how natural (or healthy) love really is. I suppose it varies with my level of optimism, but the fact remains that our planet doesn't care about our feelings, or even our massive population. We are but organisms, and the only thing an organism really has to do is survive long enough to produce more of itself. But ever since the first two humans tried to make a go of monogamy, the bar was set there - and nobody ever looked back at it. Perhaps we never need to, for if we are lucky enough to find someone we can even tolerate for twenty consecutive years, we have probably won at the game of life.
25.11.08
MUTHAFUCKA.
[First of two posts today, next one to come in the evening. STAY UP, BITCHES.]
If someone uses the word 'motherfucker' (or alternately, "muthafucka") to describe you - it tends to mean at least one of two things:
1. You just said something stupid.
2. You ARE someone stupid.
And the only way to decipher which usage is intended, is to look at the activator word (or adverb, if you're still in school. Learning rules!) - which is almost always 'this' or 'that'. For instance, if the conversation leading up to the usage of 'motherfucker' went something like this:
Them: "Kobe Bryant is the greatest player of his generation."
You: "I don't know - Allen Iverson was the first to mix street game with NBA-level skills."
Them: "THIS MUTHAFUCKA, HERE!"
[Note: You can use this conversation as a template for your own lives. For instance, you could substitute "Kobe Bryant" for "Nine Inch Nails", Allen Iverson for "Radiohead" and "mix street game with NBA-level skills" with "successfully commit commercial suicide, without the mess of having to quit making music."]
... Then they are simply specifying that not only do they not agree with your specific point, they happen to find the entire foundation of your argument ridiculous. On the positive side, they are not likely to hold your statement(s) against you for any significant period of time.
However, if your conversation sounds more like this:
You: "What are you guys up to?"
Them: "Nothing much."
You: "Want to debate the pros and cons of holding up a Tesco and stealing all the cheesy snacks?"
Them: "Did you hear what that motherfucker just said?"
... Then you are most likely considered the 'stupid' member of your group - and nobody that you consider your 'friend' really likes you at all. In fact, the only reason they still associate with you, is the same reason a pothead tries to make friends with his dealer - so as to always have a steady supply (of weed in the pothead's case, and easy jokes that are all but set-up for them in the case of your 'friends'), and in the hopes of perhaps one day receiving discount merchandise (if you so happen to work at a Gamestop or something like that).
If someone uses the word 'motherfucker' (or alternately, "muthafucka") to describe you - it tends to mean at least one of two things:
1. You just said something stupid.
2. You ARE someone stupid.
And the only way to decipher which usage is intended, is to look at the activator word (or adverb, if you're still in school. Learning rules!) - which is almost always 'this' or 'that'. For instance, if the conversation leading up to the usage of 'motherfucker' went something like this:
Them: "Kobe Bryant is the greatest player of his generation."
You: "I don't know - Allen Iverson was the first to mix street game with NBA-level skills."
Them: "THIS MUTHAFUCKA, HERE!"
[Note: You can use this conversation as a template for your own lives. For instance, you could substitute "Kobe Bryant" for "Nine Inch Nails", Allen Iverson for "Radiohead" and "mix street game with NBA-level skills" with "successfully commit commercial suicide, without the mess of having to quit making music."]
... Then they are simply specifying that not only do they not agree with your specific point, they happen to find the entire foundation of your argument ridiculous. On the positive side, they are not likely to hold your statement(s) against you for any significant period of time.
However, if your conversation sounds more like this:
You: "What are you guys up to?"
Them: "Nothing much."
You: "Want to debate the pros and cons of holding up a Tesco and stealing all the cheesy snacks?"
Them: "Did you hear what that motherfucker just said?"
... Then you are most likely considered the 'stupid' member of your group - and nobody that you consider your 'friend' really likes you at all. In fact, the only reason they still associate with you, is the same reason a pothead tries to make friends with his dealer - so as to always have a steady supply (of weed in the pothead's case, and easy jokes that are all but set-up for them in the case of your 'friends'), and in the hopes of perhaps one day receiving discount merchandise (if you so happen to work at a Gamestop or something like that).
22.11.08
A Brief History of Social Networking.
Foreword
Unlike online Instant Messaging or Chat communities (such as AIM, Yahoo Messenger, MSN Messenger, or ICQ), social networks (or "virtual communities") can be defined as groupings of people with similar intents, if not interests. Their purpose is relatively simple, to use the internet to allow people to interact with people they most likely would have little or no chance of coming into contact with otherwise, whether due to social cliches, geographical boundaries, or other obstacles. Consider it a veritable successor to or perhaps even "evolution" from having a "pen pal".
The approach of each individual website differs, depending on which type of person or "crowd" that website is trying to attract... And as with just about any type of business, there are often just as many if not more of that type of business that will fail, than succeed. Keeping that in mind, this is by no means intended to be a complete or encompassing report or listing as to every last social networking site ever to grace our beloved internet. That said, let us get to it.
Origins
One of the first notable websites to introduce online social networking would be HoTMaiL Personals, created sometime in 1995 (sometimes shortly following the induction of Hotmail, but before it's commercialization with Microsoft) which allowed users to link personals ads to their already existing Hotmail accounts. The popularity of the website lasted until approximately 2000, and since then the website has undergone several make-overs to the point that any sort of social networking is almost hidden within the mass of Hotmail, MSN and other Passport.net live links (and/or link rot).
An even more notable entry into the ring of social networking sites is the still-running Classmates.com, again, created sometime in 1995. While HoTMaiL Personals took an approach derived from the concept of personal ads (such as those in newspapers), Classmates.com focus of operation was to allow members to find, connect (or re-connect) with, and keep in touch with friends met throughout the various stages of their lives, via school - be it anywhere from Elementary to Graduate (extended to include places of employment and the various Armed Forces). This flexible form of exclusivity allowed for Classmates.com to attract a certain, albeit wide-based, type of user - something that would become more and more common in succeeding social networking sites.
Perhaps motivated by the success of the two aforementioned websites, HoTMaiL Personals and Classmates.com were quickly followed up an almost countless number of successors - from imitators (SixDegrees, Yahoo! Personals/Geocities) to abstract takes on the original form (Live/DeadJournal, Xanga) - which took turn to focus on literature, music, movies and their review(s/ing), as well as online journals (or "weblogging"/"blogs"). For the most part, all of the aforementioned sites have carried on in some form or another (with the exception of SixDegrees.com, which was sold to YouthStream Media Networks in 2000 for $120M USD) - but none would become a true social "meme" until the introduction of Friendster in 2002.
Friendster
Friendster targeted itself at the group which made it's precursors most popular - young adults from North America (most particularly the United States), Europe (most particularly England/United Kingdom) and Asia (most particularly Japan) aged about 18 to 29. Establishing a format that many succeeding sites would use as a template, each user created an online profile (or "identity") by filling out a questionnaire profile and uploading a user picture, then defining a gallery of friends - either by interacting with friends already using the site, seeking out people who use the site, or inviting friends to join. The service would then integrate these galleries, using the so-called "small world phenomenon" to allow people to always interact with a friend-of-a-friend(multiplied to whatever exponential value necessary), and not simply a random or unknown person (such as is often associated with spam eMails or Instant Messaging/Chat programs).
Friendster's approach, blending the successful aspects of its precurors and leaving out the less popular features, would set the standard for almost every subsequent social networking site that would be met with any sort of popularity. Friendster's focused targeting (aiming the site not only at the youth market, but targeting single youths) would also be heavily borrowed by following sites, most notably - MySpace.com.
MySpace.com
Currently the most popular website in the United States (accounting for approximately 4.7% of all website visits originating from the US)*, MySpace.com was born of the integration of "blogging" (as preceeded by LiveJournal or Xanga), user profiles (as preceeded by Friendster), grouping (mostly provided by the seperation of websites - i.e., Friendster for dating, SixDegrees.com for "underground" socializing, or even Ryze for business networking), and an internal eMail system (perhaps borrowing from the original concept of Hotmail Personals).
MySpace has gradually gained more popularity than similar sites (such as Friendster, LiveJournal, or Classmates.com) to get the highest hit count of all English-language social networking websites. It has become an increasingly influential part of contemporary pop culture, especially in the Anglosphere. MySpace currently has just over 95 million members (although the number of "unique" members is almost impossible to determine) and gets about 500,000 new members each week.
... But MySpace was not always the social networking giant it stands as today, nor was it always poised to become such. Before the creation of the current social networking website, the MySpace.com domain name was registered in 1998 to an online storage and file sharing firm. Registration was free and users were able to obtain a small disk quota which would gradually increase if they referred new members to the site. Due to slow service and a lack of revenue, the original site shut down sometime in late 2001.
The current MySpace service was founded in July 2003 by current president Tom Anderson (the popular "first friend" of each profile created), current CEO Chris DeWolfe, and a small team of programmers. It was partially owned by Intermix Media, which was bought in July 2005 for $580 million by Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation (the parent company of Fox Broadcasting and other media enterprises).
Borrowing from the now-popular (or even "standard", as will be addressed later) Friendster format, each profile contains several "blurbs" including "About Me" and "Who I'd Like to Meet", as well as sections detailing the users' musical, cinematic, literary, and other tastes. A standard questionnaire is used to determine details such as marital status, physical appearance, and income. Taking the Friendster format a bit further, each profile also allows for the user to post "blog" entries, further allowing MySpace to be a more "all-encompassing" type of social site.
Although MySpace is more oriented toward the youth market, there are many people who are making careers out of promotion on MySpace. From bands, to celebrities, to exotic car dealers, many people have found MySpace to be an invaluable tool for advocating their goods and services. Like Friendster before it, MySpace has now spawned many imitators (and thus, competitors) - such as Facebook and TagWorld, but the most notable product of the popularity of MySpace has to be the Friendster patent approval.
Friendster Patent
On June 27th, 2006 - Friendster received a patent (US Patent no. 7.069.308) that covers online social networks, one the company had applied for long before its decline and recent recapitalization.
The patent is extremely general in its terms, covering the basic steps involved in joining a social network: entering a personal description and relationships to other users, mapping relationships and degrees of separation, and connecting to others through these friends. In such, seemingly covering the activities of many other social networking sites, especially those such as LinkedIn, that allow people to connect within a certain number of "degrees of seperation", which would leave the proverbial door open for MySpace's "Top Friends" to become a talking point of the patent's details.
In its simplest terms, the patent is referred to as a “system, method, and apparatus for connecting users in an online computer system based on their relationships within social networks." And although the Friendster patent could be challenged in either the patent system or the courts, opponents would face an uphill battle. “Once the patent is issued there is a presumption of validity that follows with it,” said attorney Bill Heinze in representation of Friendster.
The patent is more of a moral victory for the now-struggling Friendster, as even though it still counts 9-to-10 million users, the company has been consistently losing momentum in the global networking market, mostly to MySpace.com. Many users and former users cite heavy "lag" or "loading" times, as well as a lack of the diversity offered by MySpace as reasons for their leaving the site.
This sort of situation treads the fine line between property and intellectual property, which warrants a full-length discussion of its own. Another situation provided by the awarding of the Friendster patent, is the possible monopolization of the social networking class of websites - further pushing the ongoing internet properties debate into the political forum.
Failed Sites
As stated before, for each popularized website, there are quite literally tens of thousands that fail just as miserably as those which succeed (only in opposing terms), and while chronicling the popular websites may be a task of its own - finding all the ones that either haven't or haven't yet made it through the glass ceiling is ten times the effort. Here is a short overview of some of those that haven't:
43 Things
Adult FriendFinder
aSmallWorld
BlackPlanet.com
Babbello
The Black Stripe
Bebo
Bolt
Campusbug
Care2
Cyworld
Crostel
Connecct.ee
DowneLink
DoYouDo
Draugien.lv
Ecademy
eCrush
eSpin
Faceparty
Flickr
Frustuckstreff
Gaia Online
GayRomeo
Gayday
GolfBuzz
GreatestJournal
Grono.net
Hey! ASL?!
Hi5
Hyves
IMVU
Insider Pages
IRC-Galleria
iWiW
JDate
Joga Bonito
LinkedIn
LunarStorm
Miaplaza
MiGente.com
Mixi
MOBANGO
MSN Space
Multiply
Music Forte
MyGamma
MyNetSpot.org
myYearbook
Neurona
Nexopia
OkCupid
openBC
orkut
Passado
Piczo
ProfileHeaven
Rediff Connexions
Reunion.com
Ryze
Sconex
Spark Networks
Studybreakers
Sulekha
Tagged
TakingITGlobal
The Student Center
Thingbox
Tickle
Tribe
WAYN
Wireless World Forum
Xuqa
Yahoo! 360/Yahoo! Personals
... And while it can be argued that many of these sites are popular in a specific region or among a particular group of people - the overall popularity does not match that of the previously referenced sites.
Afterword/Commentary
... Glorifying MySpace, TagWorld, FaceBook, FaceParty - or any other "social networking" site for doing the same job as eMailing does, only with fancier interfaces and graphics - is like saying that not paying as much for water purification to the State, and in turn paying that money to say - Coca Cola or Pepsi, to buy water at a supermarket, is "better" or "Worse". Really, it's all the same.
* - Note that the site's traffic volume is based on incredibly intense usage by a more limited number of visitors. At least five English language sites have a higher "reach" measurement; that is, they are visited by more unique people each day.
The correction of any errors, whether in citation, punctuation, spelling or otherwise - as well as the addition of and new information, provided ample source information, is both appreciated and encouraged.
Unlike online Instant Messaging or Chat communities (such as AIM, Yahoo Messenger, MSN Messenger, or ICQ), social networks (or "virtual communities") can be defined as groupings of people with similar intents, if not interests. Their purpose is relatively simple, to use the internet to allow people to interact with people they most likely would have little or no chance of coming into contact with otherwise, whether due to social cliches, geographical boundaries, or other obstacles. Consider it a veritable successor to or perhaps even "evolution" from having a "pen pal".
The approach of each individual website differs, depending on which type of person or "crowd" that website is trying to attract... And as with just about any type of business, there are often just as many if not more of that type of business that will fail, than succeed. Keeping that in mind, this is by no means intended to be a complete or encompassing report or listing as to every last social networking site ever to grace our beloved internet. That said, let us get to it.
Origins
One of the first notable websites to introduce online social networking would be HoTMaiL Personals, created sometime in 1995 (sometimes shortly following the induction of Hotmail, but before it's commercialization with Microsoft) which allowed users to link personals ads to their already existing Hotmail accounts. The popularity of the website lasted until approximately 2000, and since then the website has undergone several make-overs to the point that any sort of social networking is almost hidden within the mass of Hotmail, MSN and other Passport.net live links (and/or link rot).
An even more notable entry into the ring of social networking sites is the still-running Classmates.com, again, created sometime in 1995. While HoTMaiL Personals took an approach derived from the concept of personal ads (such as those in newspapers), Classmates.com focus of operation was to allow members to find, connect (or re-connect) with, and keep in touch with friends met throughout the various stages of their lives, via school - be it anywhere from Elementary to Graduate (extended to include places of employment and the various Armed Forces). This flexible form of exclusivity allowed for Classmates.com to attract a certain, albeit wide-based, type of user - something that would become more and more common in succeeding social networking sites.
Perhaps motivated by the success of the two aforementioned websites, HoTMaiL Personals and Classmates.com were quickly followed up an almost countless number of successors - from imitators (SixDegrees, Yahoo! Personals/Geocities) to abstract takes on the original form (Live/DeadJournal, Xanga) - which took turn to focus on literature, music, movies and their review(s/ing), as well as online journals (or "weblogging"/"blogs"). For the most part, all of the aforementioned sites have carried on in some form or another (with the exception of SixDegrees.com, which was sold to YouthStream Media Networks in 2000 for $120M USD) - but none would become a true social "meme" until the introduction of Friendster in 2002.
Friendster
Friendster targeted itself at the group which made it's precursors most popular - young adults from North America (most particularly the United States), Europe (most particularly England/United Kingdom) and Asia (most particularly Japan) aged about 18 to 29. Establishing a format that many succeeding sites would use as a template, each user created an online profile (or "identity") by filling out a questionnaire profile and uploading a user picture, then defining a gallery of friends - either by interacting with friends already using the site, seeking out people who use the site, or inviting friends to join. The service would then integrate these galleries, using the so-called "small world phenomenon" to allow people to always interact with a friend-of-a-friend(multiplied to whatever exponential value necessary), and not simply a random or unknown person (such as is often associated with spam eMails or Instant Messaging/Chat programs).
Friendster's approach, blending the successful aspects of its precurors and leaving out the less popular features, would set the standard for almost every subsequent social networking site that would be met with any sort of popularity. Friendster's focused targeting (aiming the site not only at the youth market, but targeting single youths) would also be heavily borrowed by following sites, most notably - MySpace.com.
MySpace.com
Currently the most popular website in the United States (accounting for approximately 4.7% of all website visits originating from the US)*, MySpace.com was born of the integration of "blogging" (as preceeded by LiveJournal or Xanga), user profiles (as preceeded by Friendster), grouping (mostly provided by the seperation of websites - i.e., Friendster for dating, SixDegrees.com for "underground" socializing, or even Ryze for business networking), and an internal eMail system (perhaps borrowing from the original concept of Hotmail Personals).
MySpace has gradually gained more popularity than similar sites (such as Friendster, LiveJournal, or Classmates.com) to get the highest hit count of all English-language social networking websites. It has become an increasingly influential part of contemporary pop culture, especially in the Anglosphere. MySpace currently has just over 95 million members (although the number of "unique" members is almost impossible to determine) and gets about 500,000 new members each week.
... But MySpace was not always the social networking giant it stands as today, nor was it always poised to become such. Before the creation of the current social networking website, the MySpace.com domain name was registered in 1998 to an online storage and file sharing firm. Registration was free and users were able to obtain a small disk quota which would gradually increase if they referred new members to the site. Due to slow service and a lack of revenue, the original site shut down sometime in late 2001.
The current MySpace service was founded in July 2003 by current president Tom Anderson (the popular "first friend" of each profile created), current CEO Chris DeWolfe, and a small team of programmers. It was partially owned by Intermix Media, which was bought in July 2005 for $580 million by Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation (the parent company of Fox Broadcasting and other media enterprises).
Borrowing from the now-popular (or even "standard", as will be addressed later) Friendster format, each profile contains several "blurbs" including "About Me" and "Who I'd Like to Meet", as well as sections detailing the users' musical, cinematic, literary, and other tastes. A standard questionnaire is used to determine details such as marital status, physical appearance, and income. Taking the Friendster format a bit further, each profile also allows for the user to post "blog" entries, further allowing MySpace to be a more "all-encompassing" type of social site.
Although MySpace is more oriented toward the youth market, there are many people who are making careers out of promotion on MySpace. From bands, to celebrities, to exotic car dealers, many people have found MySpace to be an invaluable tool for advocating their goods and services. Like Friendster before it, MySpace has now spawned many imitators (and thus, competitors) - such as Facebook and TagWorld, but the most notable product of the popularity of MySpace has to be the Friendster patent approval.
Friendster Patent
On June 27th, 2006 - Friendster received a patent (US Patent no. 7.069.308) that covers online social networks, one the company had applied for long before its decline and recent recapitalization.
The patent is extremely general in its terms, covering the basic steps involved in joining a social network: entering a personal description and relationships to other users, mapping relationships and degrees of separation, and connecting to others through these friends. In such, seemingly covering the activities of many other social networking sites, especially those such as LinkedIn, that allow people to connect within a certain number of "degrees of seperation", which would leave the proverbial door open for MySpace's "Top Friends" to become a talking point of the patent's details.
In its simplest terms, the patent is referred to as a “system, method, and apparatus for connecting users in an online computer system based on their relationships within social networks." And although the Friendster patent could be challenged in either the patent system or the courts, opponents would face an uphill battle. “Once the patent is issued there is a presumption of validity that follows with it,” said attorney Bill Heinze in representation of Friendster.
The patent is more of a moral victory for the now-struggling Friendster, as even though it still counts 9-to-10 million users, the company has been consistently losing momentum in the global networking market, mostly to MySpace.com. Many users and former users cite heavy "lag" or "loading" times, as well as a lack of the diversity offered by MySpace as reasons for their leaving the site.
This sort of situation treads the fine line between property and intellectual property, which warrants a full-length discussion of its own. Another situation provided by the awarding of the Friendster patent, is the possible monopolization of the social networking class of websites - further pushing the ongoing internet properties debate into the political forum.
Failed Sites
As stated before, for each popularized website, there are quite literally tens of thousands that fail just as miserably as those which succeed (only in opposing terms), and while chronicling the popular websites may be a task of its own - finding all the ones that either haven't or haven't yet made it through the glass ceiling is ten times the effort. Here is a short overview of some of those that haven't:
43 Things
Adult FriendFinder
aSmallWorld
BlackPlanet.com
Babbello
The Black Stripe
Bebo
Bolt
Campusbug
Care2
Cyworld
Crostel
Connecct.ee
DowneLink
DoYouDo
Draugien.lv
Ecademy
eCrush
eSpin
Faceparty
Flickr
Frustuckstreff
Gaia Online
GayRomeo
Gayday
GolfBuzz
GreatestJournal
Grono.net
Hey! ASL?!
Hi5
Hyves
IMVU
Insider Pages
IRC-Galleria
iWiW
JDate
Joga Bonito
LunarStorm
Miaplaza
MiGente.com
Mixi
MOBANGO
MSN Space
Multiply
Music Forte
MyGamma
MyNetSpot.org
myYearbook
Neurona
Nexopia
OkCupid
openBC
orkut
Passado
Piczo
ProfileHeaven
Rediff Connexions
Reunion.com
Ryze
Sconex
Spark Networks
Studybreakers
Sulekha
Tagged
TakingITGlobal
The Student Center
Thingbox
Tickle
Tribe
WAYN
Wireless World Forum
Xuqa
Yahoo! 360/Yahoo! Personals
... And while it can be argued that many of these sites are popular in a specific region or among a particular group of people - the overall popularity does not match that of the previously referenced sites.
Afterword/Commentary
... Glorifying MySpace, TagWorld, FaceBook, FaceParty - or any other "social networking" site for doing the same job as eMailing does, only with fancier interfaces and graphics - is like saying that not paying as much for water purification to the State, and in turn paying that money to say - Coca Cola or Pepsi, to buy water at a supermarket, is "better" or "Worse". Really, it's all the same.
* - Note that the site's traffic volume is based on incredibly intense usage by a more limited number of visitors. At least five English language sites have a higher "reach" measurement; that is, they are visited by more unique people each day.
The correction of any errors, whether in citation, punctuation, spelling or otherwise - as well as the addition of and new information, provided ample source information, is both appreciated and encouraged.
20.11.08
Both Sides of the Spectrum.
Things I Know:
- If the Phillies had lost the remainder of Game 5 that was played last night, at least two hundred people would have either died or suffered serious injuries in the riot that would have followed. And that's a conservative estimate.
- "Guesstimate" is the worst word ever devised in any language. Something is either a guess, a conjecture that has no basis in fact, that makes no effort towards proof beyond the sheer force of the guesser's belief that they are right - or an estimate, an approximation made after any length of time spent studying the subject being discussed.
Very different things, those two.
- Relationships (in the romantic sense), are often misunderstood. They are not alternating rounds of effort and ease, but are instead commitments to a consistent effort towards mutual happiness... Or at least they should be. But instead, generally they fall into one of the three following categories:
A.) Two people committed to consistently working towards each others' happiness, with the payoff being more in the other person's achievement of the goal than their own.
B.) Two people equally (relatively speaking) happy simply being around each other, as when compared to being entertained by others.
C.) Two people happy enough with one another to not desire for the situation to be changed.
- Playing card games, auto racing and curling should not be considered 'sports'. Because no matter how much demonstrable skill a person brings to the table, 92% of the event is determined in the random chance between their equipment either helping or hurting their cause.
Same goes for Scrabble, because if you get nothing but D's and O's, the best you can hope for is to spell 'odd' and hope that your opponent provides you with good opportunities in their word choices. Which basically means while Scrabble may require more knowledge - even the Quiet Game requires more actual skill.
- Anyone who has a favourite sport is much more interesting for it. Anyone who says they hate all sports, is a fucking tosser.
Dave Chappelle is funny. Nick Cannon is not.
[Note: I chose those videos at random. I'm still totally fucking right.]
-------------
Things That Confuse the Hell Out of Me:
- Why would God allow us to create the technology if we aren't allowed to use it? Why give humanity both the capacity for a growing intellect, as well as the infinite curiosity that we have?
[Yes I'm talking about abortion.]
- If the human liver has the ability to regenerate, why is it not possible to remove any portion of it that becomes cancerous, if the liver would in fact, regenerate?
- How is it that no country has ever come up with this solution for gay marriages: change all marriages to standard unions, and allow churches to select which unions they support?
- Is Joanna from Star Academy 8 a midget? By most accounts both Katy Perry and Leona Lewis are only around 170 cm (5'7"), and they both completely tower over this child. Jesus.
- Apparently you can be friends with someone for years, and know have the slightest clue as to who the fuck they are. This makes my head go numb with delirium. Serious delirium.
-------------
Yes I milked this post out of various YouTube clips... Does that mean I'm a real blog now?
See you on Saturday.
- If the Phillies had lost the remainder of Game 5 that was played last night, at least two hundred people would have either died or suffered serious injuries in the riot that would have followed. And that's a conservative estimate.
- "Guesstimate" is the worst word ever devised in any language. Something is either a guess, a conjecture that has no basis in fact, that makes no effort towards proof beyond the sheer force of the guesser's belief that they are right - or an estimate, an approximation made after any length of time spent studying the subject being discussed.
Very different things, those two.
- Relationships (in the romantic sense), are often misunderstood. They are not alternating rounds of effort and ease, but are instead commitments to a consistent effort towards mutual happiness... Or at least they should be. But instead, generally they fall into one of the three following categories:
A.) Two people committed to consistently working towards each others' happiness, with the payoff being more in the other person's achievement of the goal than their own.
B.) Two people equally (relatively speaking) happy simply being around each other, as when compared to being entertained by others.
C.) Two people happy enough with one another to not desire for the situation to be changed.
- Playing card games, auto racing and curling should not be considered 'sports'. Because no matter how much demonstrable skill a person brings to the table, 92% of the event is determined in the random chance between their equipment either helping or hurting their cause.
Same goes for Scrabble, because if you get nothing but D's and O's, the best you can hope for is to spell 'odd' and hope that your opponent provides you with good opportunities in their word choices. Which basically means while Scrabble may require more knowledge - even the Quiet Game requires more actual skill.
- Anyone who has a favourite sport is much more interesting for it. Anyone who says they hate all sports, is a fucking tosser.
Dave Chappelle is funny. Nick Cannon is not.
[Note: I chose those videos at random. I'm still totally fucking right.]
-------------
Things That Confuse the Hell Out of Me:
- Why would God allow us to create the technology if we aren't allowed to use it? Why give humanity both the capacity for a growing intellect, as well as the infinite curiosity that we have?
[Yes I'm talking about abortion.]
- If the human liver has the ability to regenerate, why is it not possible to remove any portion of it that becomes cancerous, if the liver would in fact, regenerate?
- How is it that no country has ever come up with this solution for gay marriages: change all marriages to standard unions, and allow churches to select which unions they support?
- Is Joanna from Star Academy 8 a midget? By most accounts both Katy Perry and Leona Lewis are only around 170 cm (5'7"), and they both completely tower over this child. Jesus.
- Apparently you can be friends with someone for years, and know have the slightest clue as to who the fuck they are. This makes my head go numb with delirium. Serious delirium.
-------------
Yes I milked this post out of various YouTube clips... Does that mean I'm a real blog now?
See you on Saturday.
18.11.08
Divine Nonsense, the
You know, I'm pretty sure if my father could have been responsible for scripting November 4th, 2008, he would have not only had John McCain winning the Presidency - but also had every last person in the State of California vote 'Yes' on Proposition 8.
Yes, my father is a bit afraid of those gays. A homophobe in the truest sense of the word, he knows that their bedroom activities do not include him and would not affect him even if he didn't know about it - but he still fears that if we grant homosexuals the same rights as everyone who 'plays by the rules', he will somehow end up with a dick in the butt.
Is it crazy? Yes. Is it archaic? Yes. Is it funny? Sort of.
It can only be viewed as funny if you think about his fear, and not about his mindset. He truly believes that homosexuals are second-class citizens (of this or any country), which means that he believes that there are second-class citizens. Which is wrong on all accounts, but especially so in a country which pretty openly stresses that it views all men to have been created equal. "Liberty and justice for all" is a great catch phrase for people like my father, because it perpetuates their own freedoms while granting them the liberties of restricting others.
The idea that marriage is anything other than A.) a commitment which requires a ceremony involving friends or family witnessing two people stating what was usually already fairly obvious to everyone else, or B.) a legal phrase that we assign to couples who don't mind the alteration in their taxes or people knowing that they are attempting to stay with one person for the rest of their lives - is ludicrous.
I've heard the argument that there are people who would use same-sex marriages with 'malicious' intents such as guaranteeing themselves insurance coverage from their employers, or ensuring that any children that they have or may have will be the sole executors of their estate, thanks to a friend who is willing to pose as a lover to help meet those ends. Yes, because heterosexual coupling has never produced anything that could even be construed as illegal.
The fact of the matter is that prohibiting gays, lesbians and/or transgendered people their right to marry whoever they see fit is an action that serves only to show the cowardice of those who introduce such a bill, and the weak-mindedness of those who would vote for it.
Actually, I take that back - it also violates one of the founding principles of the United States: separation of church and state. Of course many of the arguments for the establishment of that separation are founded on the idea that a government should have a complete lack of authority in the realm of individual conscience. But keeping with the theme of checks and balances that was also established in this country, shouldn't the ideals of a religion have no authority in the realm of social contracts? Should freedom of religion take priority over freedom of expression - such as the expression of love between two people, regardless of their gender?
I distinctly recall the words of Thomas Jefferson, stating that "no man shall be compelled to frequent or support any religious worship, place, or ministry whatsoever, nor shall be enforced, restrained, molested, or burthened in his body or goods, nor shall otherwise suffer on account of his religious opinions or belief; but that all men shall be free to profess, and by argument to maintain, their opinion in matters of religion, and that the same shall in no wise diminish enlarge, or affect their civil capacities."
... And if we look to the other side of the argument, the non-secular view of the world offers many contradictory points in reference to being with a person of your own gender. Apparently being a homosexual will in turn banish that person to a firey pit of torment for all of eternity not spent on Earth, unless the mass hatred poured out towards homosexuals is to be counted. And speaking of that hatred, don't the same books that state that homosexuality is 'wrong' also speak of not judging other people, as God will do so with infinite wisdom?
This argument could go on forever, and I'm only discussing it with myself at the moment. So to conclude I will say this - I would rather burn in Hell if it allows two people who truly love each other, be they two men or two women, to have the right and the confidence to state and express that love how, when and wherever they see fit.
Yes, my father is a bit afraid of those gays. A homophobe in the truest sense of the word, he knows that their bedroom activities do not include him and would not affect him even if he didn't know about it - but he still fears that if we grant homosexuals the same rights as everyone who 'plays by the rules', he will somehow end up with a dick in the butt.
Is it crazy? Yes. Is it archaic? Yes. Is it funny? Sort of.
It can only be viewed as funny if you think about his fear, and not about his mindset. He truly believes that homosexuals are second-class citizens (of this or any country), which means that he believes that there are second-class citizens. Which is wrong on all accounts, but especially so in a country which pretty openly stresses that it views all men to have been created equal. "Liberty and justice for all" is a great catch phrase for people like my father, because it perpetuates their own freedoms while granting them the liberties of restricting others.
The idea that marriage is anything other than A.) a commitment which requires a ceremony involving friends or family witnessing two people stating what was usually already fairly obvious to everyone else, or B.) a legal phrase that we assign to couples who don't mind the alteration in their taxes or people knowing that they are attempting to stay with one person for the rest of their lives - is ludicrous.
I've heard the argument that there are people who would use same-sex marriages with 'malicious' intents such as guaranteeing themselves insurance coverage from their employers, or ensuring that any children that they have or may have will be the sole executors of their estate, thanks to a friend who is willing to pose as a lover to help meet those ends. Yes, because heterosexual coupling has never produced anything that could even be construed as illegal.
The fact of the matter is that prohibiting gays, lesbians and/or transgendered people their right to marry whoever they see fit is an action that serves only to show the cowardice of those who introduce such a bill, and the weak-mindedness of those who would vote for it.
Actually, I take that back - it also violates one of the founding principles of the United States: separation of church and state. Of course many of the arguments for the establishment of that separation are founded on the idea that a government should have a complete lack of authority in the realm of individual conscience. But keeping with the theme of checks and balances that was also established in this country, shouldn't the ideals of a religion have no authority in the realm of social contracts? Should freedom of religion take priority over freedom of expression - such as the expression of love between two people, regardless of their gender?
I distinctly recall the words of Thomas Jefferson, stating that "no man shall be compelled to frequent or support any religious worship, place, or ministry whatsoever, nor shall be enforced, restrained, molested, or burthened in his body or goods, nor shall otherwise suffer on account of his religious opinions or belief; but that all men shall be free to profess, and by argument to maintain, their opinion in matters of religion, and that the same shall in no wise diminish enlarge, or affect their civil capacities."
... And if we look to the other side of the argument, the non-secular view of the world offers many contradictory points in reference to being with a person of your own gender. Apparently being a homosexual will in turn banish that person to a firey pit of torment for all of eternity not spent on Earth, unless the mass hatred poured out towards homosexuals is to be counted. And speaking of that hatred, don't the same books that state that homosexuality is 'wrong' also speak of not judging other people, as God will do so with infinite wisdom?
This argument could go on forever, and I'm only discussing it with myself at the moment. So to conclude I will say this - I would rather burn in Hell if it allows two people who truly love each other, be they two men or two women, to have the right and the confidence to state and express that love how, when and wherever they see fit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)